Living in the moment

We had a great Memorial weekend! We mainly just hung out and relaxed, spending time as a family. We spent our weekend going to Chuck-E-Cheese, doing some work around the house, going out for ice cream, and even went and saw Narnia: Prince Caspian. We had such a great time. We have really tried to focus living in the moment. Ever since General Conference when Elder Ballard gave his talk on daughters of God, I have really focused on becoming a better Mom. His talk really had an influence on me. I don't know if it was the timing of his talk, or just the topic itself that really touched me. At the time, I was really struggling with adjusting to having two kids under the age of 2. I was really stressed out and exhausted! Every day I felt like I was such a failure at mothering my two boys. I would lose my patience with Wesley in only seconds. I was constantly yelling at him and felt like no came out of my mouth every other word. And then Elder Ballard gave me a different look at life and motherhood.
On Sunday, our lesson was given on this particular talk, and again it left a lasting impression on me. Elder Ballard talks about how demanding the role of motherhood is, he stated about how "There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they made. Sometimes even husbands have no idea of the demands upon their wives." I just want to say for the record that Rob is a wonderful husband and knows the demands that I face every day. I know he appreciates all that I do.
Elder Ballard goes on to talk about a few things that might help young mothers with the challenges they face. He asks what us as mothers can do to enjoy our families more. He suggests to "first, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." He suggests to live in the now, and not to overschedule ourselves or our children. He also suggests that mothers find time for themselves to do things that they love to do. And last, he says to pray, study, and teach our children the gospel.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have really tried to implement these teachings into my role as a mother. I have tried to have more patience with things, and I have learned to pick my battles. I have tried to live in the moment. I have put off doing household chores in order to spend 5 more minutes with Wesley before he goes to bed. Or sitting and reading books with him instead of watching my favorite tv show. I have stayed up late holding Beckett while he coos and smiles at me, instead of putting him in his crib or bouncer. I have really tried to live in the now. Rob and I had a lot of things we wanted to get done on Saturday night, but instead we decided to take Wesley to get an ice cream cone and spend some quality time together. I have really noticed a major change in our lives. We all seem so much happier. I love my boys! More than anything! I have had a lot more of the "shining moments" in the past couple of weeks than I have had in the past year!
I absolutely love being a mom! It has been one of the most rewarding jobs. It makes my heart leap when Wes calls for me in the morning after he wakes up. And when Beckett gives me one of his heart warming smile. Or when Wes comes home from being out with Rob and greets me with the cutest "Hi Mommy!" It is so satisfying to hear Wesley sing "I am a Child of God," or say his ABCs. It is very gratifying to know that I am teaching Wesley and he is actually learning something from me. I am so grateful for my boys. I feel so honored that my Heavenly Father has blessed us with two of his choice spirits. Most of the time I feel very inadequate to teach and raise them, but as long as I rely on the Lord, I know that I can do it. He said it wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it!